If you saw my post back at the beginning of September, you’ll know that I haven’t been blogging much because I’m pregnant and growing a human being has taken over my life. I’m also in a huge period of shifting in my life – in my businesses, my personal life, and all of my projects. Normally it would stress me out a lot, but I’ve been doing a ton of self-care, like journaling, meditation, and yes, lots of sleep, and it’s helped me appreciate the movement of all the pieces of my life, spinning around like planets.
Sorry guys, this post is going to get personal – totally outside what I normally write on this blog – but I promise it IS business-related.
Because when you’re an entrepreneur, especially one who is passionate about what they do, life and business intertwine. A lot.
A big part of the shift I’m going through is learning when to let go of things that aren’t serving me anymore.
The First Letting Go
It started with letting someone go on my team. They weren’t the right fit and it wasn’t working. Instead of being honest and communicating with me when there was a problem, they flaked. It was probably the most stressful thing I’ve done in my business all year. Firing people sucks. Especially people who are generally really nice people.
Then I realized that, by the end of the year, I was going to have to make a decision about whether to renew the lease for my massage studio in 2018 or not. Thinking about it made me want to cry every day for weeks. I knew in my heart I didn’t want to do massage anymore, that it had run its course in my life, and that I want to focus 100% on my virtual assistant and digital marketing business.
Outside Opinions and Other Monsters
But I was (am) terrified of what people – mainly my family – will say. I’ve hinted around for months that I might not do massage anymore after the baby comes, but they all say, “Keep doing both! You’re so good at it. You have a degree in it. You’ve put so much time and effort into that business.” Etc. Etc.
I had a reiki session with a friend of mine at the wellness center last week who also happens to be my landlord. That 90 minutes of zen put me in the quiet space I needed to get some clarity. I got off her table and said, “I just want you to know I’m not renewing my lease next year.” We talked for an hour about how I’ve been holding back from making this decision for months, even before I remembered my lease is up in the spring. All the worries and doubts. All the fretting over other people’s opinions.
I sat there in her office going over reasons I want to quit massage. “My tendinitis is flaring up more and more. I don’t want to run two businesses and care for a newborn. I see so much more potential in my online business. I’m starting to resent my husband for enjoying his days off because I DON’T get days off. Ever.” Then I had a flash of insight. I looked at my friend and said, “You know what? I don’t need to justify this. When it comes down to it, it’s my life and I just don’t want to do massage anymore. That’s the only reason I need.”
Letting Go = The Catalyst for Opportunity
This came exactly one day after I needed $280 to work with a business coach I think can help me reach my goals for my online business by the time I take my maternity leave. It wasn’t in my personal or business budget, but I vowed to make it happen by the end of this month, no matter how many side hustles it took. I wrote, “I WILL WORK WITH HER, WHATEVER IT TAKES.” That day I got a payout from an affiliate program for $218.50…and a giant kick in the ass to stop throwing myself a giant pregnant pity party and start making things happen.
I’ve gotten into a slump of being sick for months and having no energy and riding my hormone roller coaster, and I’ve let it lead me into self-doubt. I told myself I’d lost my creativity, my mojo, my drive.
My husband said to me, “You’ve never doubted yourself before and look how far you’ve come.”
I have to trust myself to make the right decisions when it comes to letting go. I have to have faith that I am making the choices that will make room for opportunity, not failure.
I’ve been hit by wisdom bombs from so many online entrepreneurs I respect the past few weeks, like, “You have to go into your business with no Plan B. Plan B is an intention to fail and fall back on something,” and “Stop being entitled and self-pitying and start working your butt off.” I am so grateful to run in online circles where successful people remind me that I know what the hell I’m doing. I just need to learn to remind myself.
The Point of It All
I don’t have a cool tutorial for you or a top 10 list of marketing tips this week. Instead, I need you to know that it’s OK to trust yourself and your intuition in your business and that it’s OK to let go of things that have run their course. Not everything has to last forever.
I have reminded myself this week that I have been a massage therapist for almost 8 years and I’ve spent nearly half of that running my own business. That’s a win.
If I had never gone into business for myself as a therapist, I never would have learned digital marketing, WordPress, how to write a business plan, how to create opt-ins and landing pages and email series. Because of massage therapy, I learned how passionate I am about working online. That’s a win.
There is no failure here.
I’m letting go with grace and I’m throwing open the door to what comes next.
Don’t hold onto things that anchor you to the last chapter you wrote in your life. You deserve more. Trust yourself.